Fake Problems

podcast

Two guys solving problems that don't exist with the kind of deadpan confidence that makes you wonder if they're joking. They're not.

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Latest Episode

Episode 37

Why Beta Fish Weddings Are a Silent Massacre

This episode dives into the dark and absurd worlds of wedding beta fish executions, cultural food taboos, elite military training failures, and twisted historical takes on World War II and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The hosts balance heavy topics with dry humor and sharp observations, exposing the ugly and hilarious sides of human nature and politics.

Best Moments

Live Beta Fish at Weddings? Seriously?
If Dogs Were the New Cows, Would You Eat Them?

Actual Things We Said

“
When a man has nothing legitimate to be proud of, he's proud of his ethnicity.
one of the hosts
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Your tax dollars are literally killing a child somewhere.
one of the hosts
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Flushing live beta fish down the toilet alive is wedding etiquette gone wrong.
the hosts
“
Dogs as food? We just have the wrong emotional programming.
the hosts

What People Are Saying

★★★★★

"I listen to this at work and had to pretend I was crying, not laughing."

Apple Podcasts listener
★★★★★

"Two guys confidently debating things that absolutely do not matter. It's perfect."

YouTube comment
★★★★★

"Like if Wikipedia had a dark sense of humor and zero editorial oversight."

Bluesky listener
36

Stand Your Ground and Why Openly Gay Leads Still Don't Exist

The hosts kick off with a metal concert cut short by fire alarms, segue into the awkwardness of weddings and the art of polite escapes. Then they dive into Hollywood's reluctance to cast openly gay ma

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35

Why a Guy Yelled the N-Word at the BAFTAs (and It's Not What You Think)

This episode dives into the viral BAFTAs incident involving a man with Tourette's shouting racial slurs, the absurd political pandering of Gavin Newsom, and how media manipulation fuels outrage. The h

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34

The Surgery That Took a Swing and Missed the Bladder

This episode starts with a jaw-dropping medical mishap involving unnecessary surgery, then spirals into grim historical horrors like castrations in slave trades and deadly chimney sweeping jobs. The h

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30

Why Nukes, Kids on Bikes, and Penguins Are Weirder Than You Thought

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29

Lobsters Don't Die, But We Might

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28

Dear Diary, Evan Finally Did This

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27

What About the Onesies, Mr. Kennedy?

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26

God's Butt Plug and Other Scientific Discoveries

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25

POV: You Don't Know What POV Means

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24

Drunk Persistance

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23

Lots of Government Stuff

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22

Lesbian Choir Boys

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21

Space Therapy

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20

A 4 Day Love Story

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19

Solar Powered Roasting

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18

Snake Church Glow Up

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17

Totally Safe for Work

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16

What is Love

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15

Gas Powered Dating Apps

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14

Solar Powered Food Addiction

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13

Magical Spice Wars

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12

Japanese Robot Cafes

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11

Hepeating Black Hole

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10

Monodontia

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9

Are You Hotter Than A Magician

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8

Camp Cuck

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7

Tolerating Techno

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6

Love Thy Biker

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5

Sad Justice

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4

It Follows Helen Keller

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3

Being a Stoic With Bionic Limbs

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2

Top Gun Ego Death

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1

CTE Can't Hurt Me

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What Is This?

Fake Problems Podcast is what happens when two guys with too much free time and not enough impulse control start talking into microphones.

Every episode dives into the dark, weird, and absurd corners of life with the kind of deadpan confidence that makes you wonder if they're joking. Topics include nuclear accidents, cannibalism, penguin domestication, and whatever else seemed funny at 2 AM.

No guests. No sponsors. No filter.

🎧

Every Other Saturday

New episode drops bi-weekly

☠

Dark Comedy

Topics your therapist warned you about

🚫

Zero Corporate Energy

No sponsors, no scripts, no filter